When it comes to feeding your little ones, advice seems to come from everywhere! Grandparents, friends, the community and the media love sharing well-meaning advice, but it can become hard to sort out what’s fact from fiction.
Here are top 7 myths about mealtimes that I have busted to help you better understand your child’s feeding cues and create more harmonious family mealtimes.
Myth 1: Eating is an instinctive part of life
Eating is actually only instinctive in the first few months of life. Infants are born with primitive motor reflexes, such as rooting, sucking and swallowing that allow them to feed. During this time, feeding is on demand as you read your child’s cues. After 5-6 months of age, infants grow out of these primitive motor reflexes and feeding becomes a learned motor behaviour. At this stage, your child’s eating capabilities becomes determined by the level of opportunities they receive to explore a variety of food types and textures.
Myth 2: If a child is hungry enough, he/she will eat and will not starve themselves
This is true in cases of most children, even those who are “fussy eaters”. Most children are great at regulating their own food intake when they have structured, regular meals and snacks and access to a variety of foods. However, this is not true in the case of the few children who are restrictive and very picky eaters. For these children with feeding difficulties, eating is painful, hard work, and stressful. Eventually, these negative experiences associated with feeding leads to an “avoidant response” as they learn to suppress their appetite and not recognise hunger as an eating cue. Essentially, children with feeding difficulties unintentionally starve themselves, because that is the option they perceive as the safest.
Myth 3: Children should be encouraged to clean their plate
Children are quite well tuned at regulating their food intake. Sometimes, we feel it is our job as parents to intervene during mealtimes and push “just on more bite”. Children a quick to sense their parents agenda and even quicker at exerting their own will against it. By allowing children to decide how much they will eat, we provide them with opportunities to listen to their own hunger cues and learn to regulate their own appetite.
Myth 4: You need to teach your children about healthy and unhealthy food at every meal
Studies have shown that children can develop more negative views about foods when they are labelled as “healthy” and “unhealthy” or “good” and “bad”. The problem with labelling food is that children grow up somewhat deprived of the “bad” foods as they are taught to eat more of the “good” foods. This deprivation and restriction creates an instinctiveness to want more of that food. It also creates a sense of judgement and shame as “unhealthy” is bad and is only eaten when we are being bad. So next time, instead of saying “eat your carrot, it’s good for your eyes” or “don’t eat those biscuits, they are bad for your tummy”, do not comment and allow all food you make available in your family home to be blessed and equal as children learn to interpret and explore food on their own without placing a value or label on that food.
Myth 5: If your child rejects a food he/she is a fussy eater
Food refusal is a normal part of development, as children need opportunities to learn about food. It can usually take 8-10 exposures (without pressure) for a child to familiarise themselves with the taste, texture, temperature, colour and smell of the food before they are ready to accept it. More importantly, rather than labelling your child as a fussy eater, understanding your child’s eating development allows you work out why the food is being refused and make changes to encourage acceptance or acknowledge your child has their own food preferences (as we all do). Some things to consider to help you understand the reasons for food refusal:
- Feeding skills (e.g. can they bite and/or chew that piece of meat?)
- Sensory preferences to food (e.g. do they dislike slimy/wet foods?)
- Physical condition (e.g. are they constipated, do they have reflux or stomach pain?)
- Parental feeding practices (e.g. are foods being used as punishment/bribes/rewards?)
Myth 6: It is not appropriate to touch or play with food as children need to “mind their manners” at mealtimes
Being messy is an important part of learning to eat. Children can learn a great deal about food before eating them by touching and playing with them first. It is “play with a purpose” that teaches a child the “physics of the foods” before the foods ever get into their mouth. Children also eat so much better when their food is engaging, interesting and fun. They also eat better when mealtime conversations are focused on talking about the food and when parents are modelling how to eat and teaching the “physics” of food.
Myth 7: It is the job of the parent to get their child to eat.
It is your job as a parent to offer your child a variety of nutritious foods to choose from. It is your child's job to decide how much and whether to eat the foods you offer. Children need to let their appetite guide their eating. They will eat when they are hungry, and they will stop when they are full. It is also your responsibility as a parent to provide structure around mealtime by having meals at regular times, and eating together as a family. Once a child is given responsibility for their eating, their nutrition and eating habits will work itself out over time.
If you are unsure or concerned about your child’s nutrition and feeding behaviour. Contact Delfa to discuss how she can help you
Thank for reading!
Delfa Kaabi | Paediatric Dietitian
References:
Ellyn Satter Feeding Dynamics Model
SOS Approach to Feeding
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